Rant in My Pocket

Dear brethren -- we have a particularly beatific word today.

beamy-- adj. 1. Emitting beams of light, radiant; (1582 BENTLEY Mon. Matrones 104 The beamie Sun large light doth giue.; 1813 SHELLEY Q. Mab ix. (1853) 49 Bending her beamy eyes in thankfulness.)
b. transf. Radiated, umbellate. Obs. rare. (1562 TURNER Herbal II. 79b, The wilde carot hathe..a spoky or beamy top lyke vnto dill.)
2. Massive as a (weaver's) beam; (1809 HEBER Palestine 351 Lords of the biting axe and beamy spear.)
3. Possessing full-grown horns; antlered. (1697 DRYDEN Virg. Georg. III. 625 Thou mayst..beamy Stags in Toils engage.)

Example: I am unsure whether I would rather be beamy (Ah! Forsooth he is beamy, and I must don sunglasses when looking at his radiant self!), beamy (Lordy, his hair is beamy as a wild carrot's!), beamy (Beware his beamy spear, it will a-thwock you in the gizzard betimely), or beamy (Avast, his beamy head will poke you in the rump if you loiter too long about ye olde water cooler!).

We will be taking a poll.