Rant in My Pocket

In an effort to garner more traffic for this blog, I am hoping that if I just write what comes into my head, something good will come out.

I stuck fudge in my ear.

Maple syrup tastes better when you lick it up.

However, if you drink it out of a gallon jug, maple syrup tastes even better.

Cheese is an easy way to make attractive ornaments.

Cheese ornaments are a good way to show off your carving abilities.

Cheese ornaments are not advisable for use on car antennas or hats, especially in settings where there is a large bird population.

Cucumbers are surprising vegetables.

Asparagus stalks do not make good whips. Also they leave stains. Green stains.

I once sat on elderberries. Elderberries also stain, only bright purple.

Beer is pretty close to god.

A beer bottle looks pretty good with a little bishop's mitre on and a ceremonial robe.

If I could have a REAL bottomless coffee pot, I think I might be happy with the service at IHOP. However, instead they kicked me out. Something about lemurs. Or was it cucumbers?

Spaghetti is an interesting way to decorate.

That is all. For the moment, at least.

Signed,
Your Boss and Mine,
Mr. Paul Freeman
Chief Executive Officer.